Life is hard. Today was one of those days that reminded me of that.
I was sitting in Broad River Coffee & Cone this afternoon. It twas an ideal fall day including sunshine and crisp, full blue sky. Then I got a phone call from a friend. As I am talking on the phone, the weather of my day changes dramatically, Shock. Fear. Disbelief. Questions. Frustration. And ultimately just aching for my friend.
Tears are now falling down my face. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COFFEE SHOP. My mascara was no longer covering just eyelashes but the entirety of my cheeks and eyelid. I had previously explained part of this situation to my boss, and due to circumstances, she was the only one I could tell. I dash back to campus’s admissions office and sit down in her office. I begin to share the news, and proceed to cry, yet again, to my boss and her sister who I just met . Who listens, asks questions, and then prays. All during her time afterwork. This woman is the real deal.
Now, just to make things clear, let me explain. I don’t cry often. Crying is not my first response, and I most definitely don’t cry in a public place often, if ever. I have now cried five times this year total. I lean towards logic, reason, and realism. I do not usually put much trust in emotions. I also need to remind you that this is a small town. I know almost everyone in the coffee shop. Talk about embarrassing, Right?!
Oddly enough, I didn’t care that I cried in front of people. I knew what I was crying about was absolutely worthy of tears! Let me tell you, I could not have said that one year ago. I would have fought those tears with everything in me. I would have gone on with life attempting to smile while inside crushed, empty, and broken. The things college teaches you.
I am learning to be okay with brokenness. I am learning no to fight showing I do not have everything together, in a world that demands perfection. Im learning there are people I can trust with heartbreak, they probably have been there. I am learning I don’t have to only smile for people to like, trust, and respect me, in fact honestly is richer. I am learning the strength in tears. It takes strength to say I can’t do this, I cant do it alone. It takes strength to say I am broken, help. It takes strength to say things are not okay, they are not perfect.
Today I was reminded of the care of my God through rich community. We are broken. Life is hard for everyone. We all have burdens, worries, and trials. Life is hard. Today was one of those days that reminded me of that. However, today was also a day I was reminded that we don’t have to do it alone. We are not supposed to do it alone.