Last night was one of those kind of nights where life, is just blah. Yes. Blah is a read word.
It was one of those moments where if I could just call God up on the phone that would be great. Being single would not be nearly as hard if I could just get a real hug from God. If we could just literally hang out. Maybe a face to face conversation would be nice. I could do that.
Because last night was also one of those nights where I did not feel God. I had doubts, frustrations, I did not understand, I was mad, scared, lonely. Not really satisfied with anything aspect life. I was hurting for a lot of my friends.
God could you just COME DOWN OR CALL ME OR BE REAL. I KNOW YOU HAVE THAT ABILITY.
Then I called a friend, a camp friend who had a wonderful metaphor to share.
Married Couples.Somedays you being married. You are happy, it is the honeymoon, you feel in love. You just can look over all the flaws. And life just so happy. You are in looove…. Then there are others days where you wake up and you are just married. No feeling. No sparks. No nothing. But that does not mean you are not married that day, hour, week, whatever. You are still married even when you do not feel it.
So. No I am not married, have not ever dated actually. But I get this.
Sometimes I do not feel God. However, even in the moments I dont feel God. That is the time we choose faith. That is when faith, is faith. Trusting becomes trusting.
Its a choice. So even in the moments I don’t feel God. I choose to trust. I chose to have faith.